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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DC is about to hit a grade where if we go private, now is the time to think about making some moves.

My DH and I went to private our whole lives. My DH is super against sending our child to private. DH went to a big deal private here and disliked it. He is not convinced the education is worth the price, thinks our child has a better shot at college and life skills in a AP track public, and doesn’t want our child to think the world works the way DH believes private school kids around here do.

I can only admit this anonymously, I’m so embarrassed, but this the truth. I am afraid if my child doesn’t go to private school he’ll never be able to move in upper class circles with total ease. He won’t understand those sort of dog whistle references or get exposed to some things that are good to know when you’re an adult. There is a “code”. There just is. And upon reflection I can’t figure out if I learned that code, which I need him to know, from my parents or from private school. Will he miss out on that culture piece of things if we keep him in public? 
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the reality is it has more to do with money and personalality than anything.  And many a public school individual has enough money and experience to understand the dog whistle you refer.  Some of these public school individuals consciously choose not to engage with the persons who continually traffic in such references because they understand it for what it is; classism and elitist.  They understand that these individuals are not morally or frankly socially superior but in fact fragile egos desperately trying to appear relevant and hold on to something.

The bigger reality is this is not about education for you.  You know your DC is not going to receive a vastly superior education at private, Especially not one the confers some hugely different and worthwhile information needs for a successful life.  Like if your kid doesn’t study Beowulf they’ll be fine. This is about status for you.  The other reality is that kids here move between public and private at all levels, ES,MS, HS.  What you are trying to do is escape the competition increase that occurs the higer kids get in school. You’re also trying to get rid of some perceived  sense of being lower on the class ladder because your kid attends public rather than private.

Problem is, your husband was a private school lifer so he sees your true motivation.
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