Reply to How do you prepare for a lonely old age? And how to avoid being lonely when you're old?

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Reply to "How do you prepare for a lonely old age? And how to avoid being lonely when you're old?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’d save for a nice over 55 community with various levels of care.  I had relatives in a nice one and it was so great—library, shuttle to doctors/mall, movie theater on premises, game room, dining room, activities, staff to help you change lightbulbs.
Short of that, a faith community, or sometimes chosen family.  Like if you had a younger neighbor or colleague that yiu help when they are in the sandwich crush, they may be grateful and help you when you are old.  There are people like that but you can’t really count on it.[/quote]

This is OP.  [b]An over 55 community may be the right place for some people but I think the downside is that residents end up socialising with people their age group only.[/b]

My ideal situation is to have a wide network of friends and acquaintances of all ages. I would also like to form a closer bond with my remaining relatives, especially my cousins and their kids, but the relationship is kind of one-sided at the moment. I am always the initiator. I never hear from them if I don't make contact first.
It's sad. I wish my cousins and I had been closer from childhood but sadly that never happened. I don't know why. Family dynamics I guess.[/quote]

This isn't necessarily true. 55+ communities are vastly different now than they were 10-20 years ago, primarily because people are much more vital and active.  One of the positives is that you are with a peer group many of whom may be in a similar situation to you. They turn to each other for support and they can count on each other.

FWIW I know quite a few people who have children who are estranged from them and have no contact, including with grandchildren.  This is happening more often as extended family does not seem to have as much importance as it once did. (Look at the DCUM forums for how hated many parents and ILs are and how quickly they are cut off.)  Today, many parents are deemed toxic for having human faults. Oftentimes the theraputic community is fully behind estrangement from family of origin.  That's just how it is now.  I've seen the hearbreak it's caused my friends who are parents and I wouldn't wish that on anyone. I see their pain and I have no regrets for being childless.

Retirement communities have a lot of activities and clubs, are also big on volunteer work in the community so you will have options to get involved with organizations that focus on kids in need, environmental, animal shelters, veterans issues, you name it.  There are nice communities all over the country, some large some small, so you could find one that fits what you are looking for.

Do you plan to retire in place? If so, now is the time for you and DH to start getting involved in community. Reach out and get involved in volunteering and you will begin to meet like-minded people. Generally speaking, people who volunteer usually are friendly and like to help others so it's never a mistake to look at that demographic. [/quote]

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