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[quote=Anonymous] We visited her today. I try to keep visits brief because she can be so moody and downright cruel and I never know when she has stayed on her mood regulating medication. She has always had a downright abusive streak, but it got worse with age.  So, the visit is going well and I think "wow, this is so lovely" and then out of nowhere she gives me a nasty verbal stabbing either in the form of a guilt trip or just saying something very cruel going for a weak spot. When I started think about it, usually I know within the first 20 minutes if she is in a stabby mood, but occasionally, she is so pleasant and sweet and mild and then after an hour or so she pulls out her verbal knives and gets stabby and nasty. Yes, I know they lose their filter and I get help to set boundaries and in be in her life only as much as I can handle. I cannot change her. I try to detach, but I guess it still hurts when she seems so calm and sweet and then I don't know a mood-swing hits her and a verbal knife comes flying. I don't reinforce it with emotion and I use it as a sign it's time to leave. I guess I thought I knew her triggers and when she does these random stabbings when there is nothing I can identify setting it off it throws me off balance.

I had gotten to the point where I accepted I didn't like her, but I would be there in some form as she ages. When she typically is difficult it just confirms my reality for me, but it's when she is soooo sweet and seems genuine, not fake, that I get lulled into thinking I might enjoy my time with her and then...a sneak attack!! Anyone relate?

(not dementia...yet...or so we are told)[/quote]

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