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[quote=Anonymous]I discovered my dad cheating on my mom through emails when I was 27. He was planning to move halfway across the country with this other woman and my mom made a third of what my dad did, and I was really worried he was going to financially screw her. I told my mom and they started the divorce. My dad had planned to start a separation and all of this stuff when my sister was done with college but it didn’t quite work out that way.

For about 6 months I absolutely demonized him. I would fantasize about him dying and leaving us all alone. Eventually (and with therapy) I started to accept that my dad is just a guy who felt trapped in a shitty marriage, and tried to do the right thing by his wife and kids (disregarding his marriage vows though). He did not screw over my mom, and answered a lot of questions about the affair and how he felt, and I learned to accept and forgive him. My mom is a really difficult person to live with and she took 100% a victim role in the intervening years. It’s tough because she thinks she was the perfect wife and mother. She really wasn’t.

But anyway, I have always been close to my dad and while I don’t condone what he did to our family, I can’t entirely blame his reasoning. He was lonely and wanted out but wanted a neat, tidy end to things on his terms. We have a pretty good relationship now, and I’m even close with his gf. I see why he likes her. I also see how shitty it was dealing with my mom now that she’s alone. It’s been tough and especially holidays and family events are difficult but it’s been about 3 years and things have definitely improved. [/quote]

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