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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My kids tell me, the answer is yes.  You have to use the new name and new pronouns for old memories.

I sometimes play it safe and default to "they"[/quote]

“They” is not an appropriate way to refer to someone who identifies as a specific gender.  It is offensive.[/quote]

I was going to ask this. Isn’t “they/them” a specific nonbinary title who don’t gender themselves as either male or female?  If it’s not appropriate to misgender someone who identifies as “she” as “he”, then it’s also not appropriate to refer to someone who identifies as “she” as “they”.[/quote]

Yup, “they” is for nonbinary people, or general use when you don’t know someone’s gender.  It’s not offensive if you’re not sure, but there is unfortunately definitely a thing where people deliberately refuse to gender trans women and trans men— mostly trans women— by using “they” instead of “she.”  Kind of a passive aggressive “I acknowledge that you want to identify differently but will never use the terms you want me to because I don’t respect you,” misgendering.  It doesn’t sound like PP is doing this at all but may want to be aware that what she’s trying to use to play it safe can also be used to be purposely hurtful. [/quote]

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