Reply to Public v private v boarding -- help us decide for anxiety-ridden overly intellectual child

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[quote=Anonymous]Dd is our third child out of 5 children.  She was a public school kid but has been homeschooled since Covid (7th and 8th grades) with an agreement between our local school and a private online school since our local school didn't reopen and was very disorganized and DD is very shy with an IEP for severe anxiety (this agreement allows DD to maintain her IEP).

Dd has applied to boarding and local private schools, and is considering our local high school which is ranked 10/10 with a school population of 1000 kids (250/grade).

Here's our thoughts:

1) cost of private/boarding: DH is a government employee with a salary of $170k and no chance for a raise.  DW is a lawyer at a small firm with a fluctuating salary of $60k-$80k depending on the year/bonuses.  DW cannot move to another practice since she needs flexibility for the multiple children at home. We expect to qualify for some financial aid but there will be a lot of burden especially as our oldest will be going to college next year, too, and we'll already be tightening our belts to afford it and then our second should start college in 2 years (current 12th and 10th graders).

2) inconvenience of private/boarding: Either with flying/driving and different schedules than 3 other children (not college one), public is the easiest.

3) academics of public: even our 10/10 public school is a joke compared to the other schools -- the advantage is that our eldest has a 4.0 even with all AP/honors courses for freshman, sophomore, and l junior year with very little stress/homework - but of course, the disadvantage is that DD would learn a lot more in private/boarding.  I think because stress is a factor for DD due to anxiety, this is a wash and I'm okay with the lower academic standards in the public school

4) mental health issues: this is my primary concern and the number one reason we encouraged DD to apply to private and boarding. Dd is extremely shy but seems to do very well in residential situations like sleepaway camps and religious retreats.  I'm thinking that DD may do much better in a boarding school environment than in a day school environment.  But even the local private schools where she applied are better because they are so much smaller and more intimate where she will quickly know everyone and may be much better for her mental health. Of course, the other side of that coin is that Dd will lose her IEP -- right now DD gets weekly mental health counseling from the school -- counseling that is critical for her mental well-being as we quickly learned due to the multiple weeks that were missed when Covid first began. We'd need to supplement this counseling in a private environment.

Also, one option that we haven't considered is keeping her at her private online school -- the district is willing to continue her counseling and she is getting socialization through school sports.  But DD is ready to go back to school and we are ready for DD to return.

We'll get decisions from the schools in March.  I'd like some advice in making this decision beforehand.[/quote]

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