Reply to Did your cognitively intact elderly parent start treating you like you were younger?

Forum Index » Eldercare

Reply to "Did your cognitively intact elderly parent start treating you like you were younger?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous] My elderly mother's latest thing is to be very condescending and talk to me like I am an ignorant teenager who doesn't watch the news or know how to research anything. She is constantly informing me of something that anyone who even checks the news once a day would know. She will start with something like "You probably aren't aware of this, but...." I used to get sucked in and calmly remind her I am adult who watches the news, but it just sets off some of her crazy where despite remaining calm she will say "No need to get defensive. It's just you were never into the news." I wasn't into the news at age 13 and apparently she forgot I grew up. She also has started giving unsolicited advice at a much more frequent rate. She will share something anyone who knows how to use google and talk to a nurse can figure out. I cannot say anything to ask her to stop because she gets defensive and I certainly won't reinforce it with a "thank you." I am middle age, married with a job and kids of my own. While she has always had a difficult personality, she has not talked down to me to this degree since I was a teenager. I mostly stay neutral and do what is called "medium chill" with her because she cannot handle assertive confrontation without tantrumming.

I should note, she has a horrible anxiety issues which I now realize she has had my whole life. Years ago I had to set limits of her anxious calls and emails and I started taking breaks form her whenever she tantrummed. She goes on anxiety meds and is more even, then takes herself off even though everyone-doctors, adult children has told her she needs those meds and it's a dangerous to go off so rapidly. She passes dementia screeners.

I know I just need to detach and I do, but does anyone else feel like it is a job to be in your elderly parent's life and there is no joy? I could do all the self-care in the world, but after over a decade of dealing with her emergencies and mood swings and recent increase in condescending behavior I just find I am happiest the days we have no contact. I do feel a need to be in her life to some degree and be there in case of a real emergency, but it sucks the life out of me dealing with her and I can only imagine how miserable it must be to be her. I think she is pulling this with "friends" too because she is complaining about them not appreciating her and they seem to be fading off.[img][/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics