Reply to Husband -father of 4- sleeps in every single day

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[quote=Anonymous]Husband is in his 40s. Makes his own hours at work. We have 4 kids under 8. Kids all need to be out the door in the morning for preschool and elementary school between 8:30 and 9. Husband can barely get out of bed. Every day he sets his alarm for 7:45 or 8. Comes downstairs well after 8 completely disheveled, complains about ailments, not sleeping well, how gross the weather is… will begrudgingly drive preschooler to school (in his pajamas) but has nothing to do with the morning routine… I get up alone, dress kids, make breakfast, pack lunches, fill water bottles, make sure HW is done and packed, hair is brushed, shoes are on, hats/mittens/coats/masks are ready. It’s insulting that he lies in bed while I juggle the morning routine alone. After the kids leave the house, he mills around and often doesn’t leave the house until 11am. Comes home around 7. (Conveniently missing the bulk of the evening routine too.) He then parks on the couch and stays up late every night (12-1am).

To make matters worse, on the weekends or on “vacation” or during school breaks he doesn’t set an alarm and easily sleeps past 9. Sometimes doesn’t appear downstairs until 10am. If I wake him up, he gets mad. If the kids go in and jump on him, he yells at them to go away. He seems to feel zero guilt that I am on duty in the mornings 7 days a week. We have fought about this for many years now. He gets very defensive and says things like “I need more sleep than you” or “you need to respect that I have different sleeping patterns than you”. Sometimes he’ll try to change (come downstairs at 7:30 two days in a row) but then he gets especially tired and just can’t keep up. A couple times a month he’ll *go back to bed* after preschool drop off and snooze until noon.

On the weekends we do quiet time and he ALWAYS naps. It makes me crazy when he gets up at 10am and then naps from 1-3. I’m at the point where I would rather be a single parent than be annoyed by this sloth lying around all the damn time. Why doesn’t he feel guilty? How do I get him to understand how unfair it is to put me in this position every single day? [/quote]

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