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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ask him? How shoukd he spend his time while you are away? Hopefully, it's just middle age hormones making you jealous. If he isn't a cheater, he isn't cheating.[/quote]

I guess I could just do that.  I worry he'll think I don't trust him.  Many years ago I got very jealous about what I saw as flirtatious behavior toward one of the au pairs we had, and I ended up feeling like I made a big deal over nothing.[/quote]

Oh, wait a minute! Did you witness or imagine you saw the flirting? How did he react? Are you always jealous, or only when something is up with dh?[/quote]

It was just the way he was around her especially at the end of the year before she moved out, it seemed too familiar to me.  I can't really describe anything concrete.  But I talked to him about it and he made me see that there was nothing there, I was just overreacting.  She ended up staying in the area and we remain good friends and have her over for dinner occasionally, although that will probably happen less now that DS is off at college.   I'm not usually a jealous person. [/quote]

You make it sounds as if he was gaslighting you.
Is your gut uncomfortable with his language tutor??[/quote]

Yeah.  I'm sensing gaslighting.  It is incredibly easy to fool those that have been married a long time and have unconditional trust.  You wouldn't be the first to be completely blind-sided.

But, in hind sight, you will remember all of these times you let him mansplain and believed what he said.

I would not be comfortable with this situation at all.  And, the fact he's setting these up as appointments creates a reason why he would be meeting her if anyone were to ever question it or see them together.

And, MOST IMPORTANTLY, are these tutor sessions taking place in your empty house or her apartment?  [/quote]

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