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[quote=Anonymous]I have been divorced for almost five years. Two grown children.  I don't hate my ex, we were married for 18 years and had many happy memories, especially when the kids were young. He is a great father. He was a good worker bee.  He is, unfortunately, lazy and very unimaginative.  Also a hoarder, a drinker and more introverted as he ages.  Not a bad person, just wholly incompatible with the person I became. We lived separate lives in the same house for almost 3 years until I decided that death by a thousand cuts wasn't good for me. He would have stayed married, because he was living the life he wanted and I wasn't bothering him.  His sloth and drinking and hoarding were depressing me.  He retired as soon as he was eligible, and I'm not interested in retiring until my early 60s.

I lost twenty pounds, am in much better mental and physical shape and am much more active socially and in terms of travel.  We are on cordial terms, and he occasionally expresses amazement that I fit so much into a day and a week.  It took me forever to understand that not only was he satisfied with his life, but that my life would exhaust and intimidate him.

Summary: divorce is always unfortunate but sometimes can be not only necessary but wonderful for the spouses.
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