Reply to What sustains a marriage more -- good sex life or good friendship?

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Reply to "What sustains a marriage more -- good sex life or good friendship?"

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[quote=Anonymous]For people who have experienced both types of relationships (physical chemistry driven versus friendship driven), which type would you consider more successful or which did you prefer?

I feel like the common refrain is "the physical side fades, so you need a solid friendship to sustain a marriage long term."  For me, I think the opposite has been true.

First husband and I got along great, loved talking and hanging out together, never fought -- but also almost never had sex, and that was a dark cloud over our entire marriage.

My 8-year relationship with my current boyfriend has been very different.  It started with lust, and I didn't care that we had little in common because I just thought it would be a short fling.  But we never fell out of lust.  We also fight much more than my ex-H and I did.  We resolve our fights, but it's a bit tumultuous compared to my ex.  But damn, the sex tho.  It has been a salve that has gotten us through so many hard times.

I'm not suggesting physical chemistry could overcome abuse or mistreatment or intellectual unfulfillment.  But assuming a baseline level of compatibility in any relationship, for me, physical chemistry has been more healing and restorative of the woes in this relationship than a deep friendship was in my old relationship.

Same for anyone else?[/quote]

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