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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Over the holidays my FIL asked my DH to be the executor of their will because he’s the oldest and gets along with his siblings the best. I’m skeptical that my DH should be the person executing (we live across the country, his family has some tense relationships, and those might get testier when sad about the death of parents). When I met with an attorney to plan our wills when I was pregnant I was told that we should pick someone who wasn’t a beneficiary to be the executor, so there’s that factor too. I told my DH his dad should ask a friend, but his dad is pretty isolated. His sad said his mom doesn’t want to talk about wills or beneficiaries or executors so asking her to ask a friend wouldn’t work. My DH has concerns, but doesn’t want to leave his parents in the lurch. What should we / he be considering? What does being an executor entail (like would he have to manage selling the house)? Is there a polite way to decline?[/quote]

"pick someone who wasn’t a beneficiary to be the executor, "
FWIW, this is a common ploy for the person to then say, "oh, like you/your law office." This makes a lot of money for the lawyer's office (billing hourly, potentially taking a cut etc.)
Also, depending on the state and way things are put together, the house in particular may transfer outside of the estate. My siblings and I (and their spouses) all had to sign the sale document; did not have anything to do with the estate.

It is a lot of paper-chasing, in my experience. and a PIA, but it is important.[/quote]

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