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[quote=Anonymous]Does your DH defend you/your relationship when they make these comments. I can understand him not wanting you to say mean things about his family (yes, even if they suck, people are understandably sensitive about their families because it feels like a personal attack). But I would not be okay with him just standing by as his family criticized you or your marriage.

My DH's family is a piece of work but they are absolutely not allowed to criticize me to him or to criticize our family as a unit. If they want to complain about choices we make that actually impact them (like complaining about us not visiting for Christmas) that's fine, even if I disagree with them. And they can even criticize things we do that don't impact them (the way we spend our money or raise our kids, for instance), but my DH steps up and defends us every single time. No way would he just sit there while they criticized how we got engaged or married, or my right to be part of the family. That is a bridge too far.

So yes, I kind of agree this is a DH problem, if he's really not saying anything to them. I don't think being able to say "Whatever, you all are a mess" is really the issue. Even if you are right about it, that's not a productive way to handle this. But your DH needs to be on your side. If he isn't, you need to ask him why not.[/quote]

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