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[quote=Anonymous]My DH and FIL go on 2-3 day fishing trips a few times a year. My husband recently changed jobs and works out of state for 6 months of the year. He was home for the month of December. My FIL planned a fishing trip without asking my husband about dates and he could not go because we already had plans. My FIL then tried to plan a fishing trip on my birthday weekend and also the week before my husband leaves again. I had taken a week of vacation time to spend with my husband and son and my FIL wanted to take my husband fishing during this time. My husband told his Dad no, and that he needs more notice and to be consulted on dates before my FIL plans the trips and takes time off.

The other issue is that my FIL recently had COVID and there are unvaccinated family members. DH and I chose to stay home on Christmas this year and not visit, my FIL was PISSED about this. My MIL called me on my birthday to ask me why we weren’t coming to their house on Christmas. DH did not want to go and expose us or our son and risk getting COVID a week before my husband and leaves. My FIL and MIL both said to my husband on the phone they feel like he "can’t do the things he wants to do" which DH strongly refuted and said he doesn’t want to get sick, get his family sick, nor does he want to go fishing on certain dates because we already have plans as a family.

DH and his family used to have a very enmeshed dynamic. My FIL thought we were going to buy his house from him and have them still remain in the home. My DH used to live at home until he was 30. He and his Dad were very close but we now have a toddler and a life of our own and are planning on moving away. DH is planning on going over to his Dads house but I am PISSED that I am somehow the common denominator or that’s my FIL’s perception that I am somehow to blame when it’s his own lack of planning and not wanting to risk getting COVID or continue their weird enmeshed dynamic and LIVE with them in their house.

I’ve had no part in DH’s decision to not go fishing or not go to Christmas. I don’t care either way. I’m not close with my IL’s at all and it’s clear that their perception of me is dependent on how often I play along and show up to their house.

I’m really just venting. I’m glad DH sticks up for my but the comment FIL and MIL made really bother me. [/quote]

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