Reply to Husband not interested in date nights or spending time with me

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[quote=Anonymous]I'm in a similar spot, OP. My DH says he wants to do this stuff but then when push comes to shove he's always got reasons for why it can't happen. Couples therapy has been a similar issue -- he'll say he's on board but then he doesn't like the timing or he rejects every therapist I propose. I'm also mid-40s and the situation makes me feel sad and desperate. We have kids and I love our family dynamic but I just don't feel fulfilled in our relationship. It's making me feel resentful which is also killing our sex life, which I don't like and I think bothers him too. But he just doesn't seem willing to put in the effort.

This might sound cheesy but I recently found a phone app called Paired that I'm going to propose using with him. It's basically an app for people in relationships to help them connect by answering questions about each other and I think some other activities. The reason it appealed to me when a friend recommended is that one way we used to keep the attraction alive was via lots of texting throughout the day when we were both at work. Kids and covid have killed that because we both work from home plus I am so busy with the kids (I work PT and do a lot of childcare during the weekend) that I just don't look at my phone as much as I used to. But this is sort of the same spirit but a little more structured and maybe with some guidance?

Anyway, I'm going to try it out with him (he doesn't know this yet, lol). I think it will appeal to his inherent laziness and existing phone addiction. But if it helps us reconnect, I don't care. I just want to have a marriage that doesn't exist solely for our kids, much as I love them. I didn't marry him for the kids, I married him because I loved him and I want to keep that love alive.[/quote]

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