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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Brief history:

Mom and dad split up when I was 5. I saw dad every other weekend until he passed away when I was 14.

Mom was always stressed out, even though my brother and  I were good kids

Mom worked 1-1.5 days a week and spent much of her time at the tennis club, golf club, swimming, or at the monthly book club. Also the Friday night "social club" when I got older

I came home to an empty house without adults most days

Mom never had the best communication skills, in fact I think she has a deficit in that domain

Not the most empathetic person

She could be very strict at times and not "fair".

At times she would say "I pay for this, I pay for that, don't take to me that way" or something to that effect. I would then refuse allowance, or chore money, but still did the chores and didn't act out.

I was not very athletic, but she never played any sports with me or practiced soccer in the backyard or tried to teach me. I think she likely would not have known how, so perhaps that is for the best.[/quote]

Another thing:

I was very happy to just go to the local flagship university, which was in our home city. FWIW we lived in Canada. However, she wanted me to apply to American universities and write the SAT. She herself attended a regional private university in the USA. Her parents also studied at private universities in the USA. She basically said I couldn't or shouldn't go to the local university, even though it was superior to the American ones I applied to. She preferred me to go to an inferior school in the USA. I felt very insecure about this and regretted the decision. I think it took a toll on my mental health. When I brought up that I wanted to transfer at the end of my first year, she was a bit dismissive and never chatted with me to really get down to why I wanted to transfer... As you can tell I wasn't a very confident kid.[/quote]

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