Reply to Struggling post-divorce, as the person who initiated it with good reason

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[quote=Anonymous]I am sorry. I think these feelings are normal, but I can’t relate. I also left after multiple threats of divorce. I have been divorced for two years now but I was separated for two years before that. The difference probably is is that I was never really happy in the relationship, and I have no idea if you ever was either so it’s a lot easier to deal with. What makes me sad is that I accepted it for so long and I waited too long to leave and wasted too many years and it completely up and did the trajectory of my life so I am more sad about that then losing the marriage or the relationship because it really wasn’t even going to begin with. It makes me sad that I was married but I feel like I was never really married and that is kind of heartbreaking. I literally have no good memories of being engaged or married. We were fighting almost the entire engagement and everyone said it was just the stress of the wedding—well it wasn’t. What was really happening is that I was beginning to see some red flag behaviors that later fully turned up as constant manipulation and emotional abuse that didn’t really start until after the wedding.

They do say that people tend to block out the bad memories and heightened good memories of the past but that doesn’t mean it was a mistake to divorce. You said that you’re generally happier now and I think it’s pretty common that you would remember the good times now like your brain playing tricks on you but it doesn’t mean that you made a mistake at all. [/quote]

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