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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I cut off my abusive mom and siblings two years ago. Best decision I ever made, my life is so much more peaceful now.

Block their numbers and move on with your life. [/quote]

Op here. I want to do this, but A) feel sad for my kids who love my mom. I’m always supervising and she is very sweet to them (which sometimes I strangely resent because she was so unkind to me as a kid - but again, therapy for me in 2022!) and B) I do feel a sense of shame that my brother cut me off. I feel embarrassed and also hurt by the injustice of it. That someone who was so toxic and unkind cut me off telling me I was the problem. It’s hard to articulate  ….

But yes, peace is what I don’t have with my mom in my life. [/quote]

Damn, you really are latched on to using your kids as an excuse to stay connected. Just answer this: What would be the worst thing that would happen if your kids didn't see their grandmother (aka, the person who abused you) anymore. Name it. And then name what would be the best thing that would happen if you were to cut off all relations with your mom. Compare the two. Something tells me that cutting her off would result in longer lasting healthier results for everyone. You'd end up being a stronger, healthier, better mom for your kids. Right now they have a toxic grandmother and a mother who expends way too much energy caught up in an abusive cycle. You think you're managing it all, but you're not.

Sorry to sound harsh, but that's what I see. [/quote]

I hear your point, PP. I’ve actually received mixed feedback on this topic from friends and even my therapist. The alternate line of thinking is that my kids don’t have to have the same relationship with my mom that I do and that I’m depriving them of a bond with family, something I struggle with because my mom cut me off from family members she had beef with. As a result I missed out on some meaningful relationships as a kid, though happily have rekindled a couple of these with cousins and the like as an adult.

Anyway, I’m not latched to keeping my kids in contact with my mom as much as trying to not to damage my kids in other ways. And it’s made more complicated because my mom is very sweet with them - though PP above I appreciate your point that my mom could unleash a different side. But yes, completely see your point. Thanks again for your post.[/quote]

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