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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I cut off my abusive mom and siblings two years ago. Best decision I ever made, my life is so much more peaceful now.

Block their numbers and move on with your life. [/quote]

Op here. I want to do this, but A) feel sad for my kids who love my mom. I’m always supervising and she is very sweet to them (which sometimes I strangely resent because she was so unkind to me as a kid - but again, therapy for me in 2022!) and B) I do feel a sense of shame that my brother cut me off. I feel embarrassed and also hurt by the injustice of it. That someone who was so toxic and unkind cut me off telling me I was the problem. It’s hard to articulate  ….

But yes, peace is what I don’t have with my mom in my life. [/quote]

Yes, abusers can be very charming. They can also be careful who they target....for a while. As she ages or as life stressors hit, she may not be so careful and your kids could become fair game. Your mental health is more important to your child's well-being than seeing grandma more often than you feel comfortable. Also, what message do you give your children that it's OK for an abusive person to have this much importance in your life just because she behaves...for now...with grandchildren? Set the boundaries that feel comfortable to you. Your kids are getting sucked into something that could be quite disturbing when grandma finally blows her cover. The more attached they get more life shattering it is when they see her dark side.[/quote]

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