Reply to How to react to disrespect that you can't ignore? How should spouse react?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Maybe I’m not understanding but there are plenty of times my teenage daughter is pissed at  me. And DH talks to her and says I’m on her side and doing what’s right in a calm nice tone. Is it that it happened right in front of you? Why do feel undermined? Your husband said you are on the kid’s side.[/quote]

Me again- let me ask directly - did you want you husband to yell at your son? Is that what you meant by backing you up weakly?  If so, that’s escalating the situation which you do not want to do.[/quote]
OP here. No, I don’t need anyone to yell. I didn’t yell, and no need for DH to yell. I guess I just wanted him to reiterate - firmly, sharply, assertively, in a serious tone of voice, something along those lines — that “Yes, you do have to listen when your mother is telling you something, and you don’t get to walk away.” What he did say was fine, but I think it should have come *after* asserting that. His tone of voice was wheedling, cajoling, like if you were trying to convince a much younger kid to put on his shoes or something. “C’mon, honey, please do this…” I don’t think my DH would have reacted like that if our son had spoken to him that way. In fact, Son never would have said that to him and I want son to realize that speaking to me in that manner is just as bad as speaking to his father that way.[/quote]

I think your instincts are right, and I would also be annoyed. Will your husband be receptive if/when you talk to him? [/quote]

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