Reply to To those that believe the elderly should always make their own decisions

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[quote=Anonymous]Let me tell you what happens when the elderly are 'allowed' to age in place when they are no longer capable:

1) They destroy their finances 
2) They force their children to pay for what they destroyed, and thus destroy their children's finances
3) Oftentimes they are not dealing with full mental capabilities, so they do not understand you are trying to keep them from burning down everything around them (sometimes literally). Trying to get a doctor to label it as such is damn near impossible
4) Health crisis will occur and do occur. This requires the children to stop what they are doing and come to the rescue
5) They will refuse help, causing the children to work overtime, causing their own health crisis.

Don't believe me? After five years of trying to get my parents to understand they had to make a change, they are out of money, over 50K in debt, and can't physically care for themselves well. I tried to stop this train but nope. So here I am cross country, missing my kids during the holidays, sleeping in a reclining chair in my aunt's home nearby (who is currently dying of cancer) because my sister with her OCD issues won't let me use the second upstairs bedroom in the upstairs of my parents' home. Hotels are expensive then you have to stay for months (yes months) and shut down your own business to handle this sh*tshow. And let's not forget three frail people and Covid. And I'm still expected to pay for everything while here. And did I mention the hot water in the shower isn't working and I had to fight to get a plumber in ON MY DIME? This could have been solved five years ago which a simple move. Free up and invest in cash from the home they are selling, live in a lovely second home I have in an area filled with family who want to help. Instead, they are broke, sick, and totally dependent on me, after years of literally screaming "I don't wanna". You think it's easy get paperwork for legal reasons, you're nuts. I love my parents, but this behavior and the results of it has taken its toll.

PS - my cousin just had a stroke trying to work full time and care for her 97 year old mother who STILL insists on living alone but can't care for herself. This. Is. Insanity.

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