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[quote=Anonymous]I've had flaming rows with my husband about this. He also refuses to treat his DIAGNOSED ADHD, saying it wasn't a real diagnosis and he doesn't need the meds.

After being late to two weddings, innumerable dinner parties, a Bat Mitzvah, and missing a plane, I finally had it and told him I would leave without him next time. it led to a gigantic row, because he can get very controlling and denies that his tardiness has any impact on our social standing or quality of life.

Since I cannot be in two places at once, he drives one child to school, and they are always late. When it's his turn to make dinner, it's always late. When he says he will arrive at noon, expect him at 12:30. He is systematically late for work. He has missed incredibly important deadlines at work. He has been fired from jobs. He is never current with his taxes.

I suspect he also has some form of Asperger's as well, although he denies that too. It would explain the very rigid black and white thinking, the over-reactions to reminders that if starts getting ready now, we won't be late, etc... He will somehow make it my fault that we didn't arrive on time, but also claim in the same breath that it's not important if we're late...

Thankfully, this doesn't happen often. But it has impacted our relationship, of course. When we met and got married, he was occasionally late but not systematically, and always seemed to have a plausible explanation. In true ADHD fashion, he could function as a bachelor, with only himself to look after, and a flexible job. But a few years after we were married, he got promoted to less flexible positions, had kids, and that just him spiral into systematic dysfunction, because his brain can't handle that much scheduling and timekeeping.

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