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Reply to "Women have come so far, yet the role of DIL is too often a step back for women"
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[quote=Anonymous] Have a good husband. He is impotent (in more ways than one) whenever he has to deal with his parentsand this has been the subject of endless discussions and arguments and I don't see it changing, There is enough good that divorce is not something I would consider and we both found counseling useless. Clearly I am not thrilled with my in-laws and I have been married over 10 years. I am well-educated with advanced degrees, but also willing to take on more of the nurturing role and be the one to look out for kids, cook ,meals etc and I enjoy it because my husband respects me. My in-laws did not start to show true colors until we married and they really got awful once we had kids. I have been reading obout DIL roles not only in my own culture, but in many other cultures and I am just dumfounded by how backward things still are. My own MIL, SFIL, SMIL and FIL have all seen some of their kids marriages fall apart knowing that one factor that was problematic was them, yet they continue to bully, belittle and have crazy expectations. For example, none of my parent-in-laws were high achieving high energy people, yet they expect their daughter in laws to not only be well educated, be pretty and thin doormats who have prestigious jobs,cook most meals, do chores and be the primary murturer of the children. From what I am told none of them could even handle a fraction of this stepford wife crap when they were raising kids. To them if you go on the "mommy track" you are lazy. If you don't go on "mommy track" and divide up household chores you are lazy and a bad wife. If you try to do everything, but don't entertain your inlaws when they desire you are that evil b*tch. I know this sounds extreme, but from what I read many of my "sisters" from other cultures have it much, much worse. And yet, so many women are dying to get "the ring" so much so that books have been written about how to get a guy to marry you and apparently there are classes too. Ladies, have we come as far as we think? Maybe more and more people have enlightened in-laws and things are progressing, just not with my own?[/quote]
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