Reply to Unsupervised neighborhood play - what age is appropriate?

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[quote=Anonymous]I think age is a red herring here. The issue is that when these kids play together, your kids often come home in tears. So - what is happening that's leading to that? Do you just have sensitive kids who get upset about some light teasing and need some coping skills? Is it just that they don't get along well (fighting over toys or something)? Or is it that he is an aggressively mean kid?

My answer would depend on what the dynamic is. If it's really the latter, and you're pretty confident it's his behavior, then I would either 1) not let them play together, or play together way less often but supervised or 2) let them play together unsupervised, and when your kid comes home in tears, figure out what happened, and call the parents - "hey, seems like Larla and Larlo were playing and they got into an argument, and it got physical, seems there was some shoving. I only have Larla's side of the story, obviously, but wanted check in with you, let you know, see what Larlo said, and see if maybe we can help the kids work it out."

That may be enough to get to the core of the issue and get it solved. Or, it's possible that the other parents come to the same conclusion you did, that the kids need supervision, and then you guys can figure out how to alternate or something.

As it stands right now, from the other kid's parents perspective, their kid goes and plays with the neighborhood kids and comes home. He's probably not upset, so they have no idea there's an issue. Give them the information they need to figure out what makes sense for their kid. [/quote]

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