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General Parenting Discussion
Reply to "Unsupervised neighborhood play - what age is appropriate?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Age five generally. But if it repeatedly isn’t working (not just hurt feelings hit really but working), then figure something else out. You clearly want the other parents to supervise, but whether that’s reasonable or not, it clearly isn’t going to happen. I don’t supervise my five year and seven year olds with the neighbor kids. [/quote] My oldest is about this age and has some behavioral issues we work on with a professional. But even still I don’t think another child has ever gone him tears from our house! We only do unsupervised time in short bursts with a small number of kids we know very well, in part by younger son often wants to go out too and is too young to be out near our street on his own. So I’m frequently throwing a ball with little guy and not really interacting with the older ones but I’m there. I think you should have a really good heart to heart with your daughters about boundaries and how they can be friends with this boy but not accept behavior that is hurtful. They can have a plan and standard phrases like “ I’m not going to play if you call me that again” if there’s name calling or whatever. And then they leave. There are some good books for kids about this, and I think it’s good practice for kids especially your older ones age to be standing up for themselves. I would also talk with them and then the neighbor parents about it being ok to say they don’t want to play that day even if they are outside. They can play some times but not every day if that works better. Or just practice standing firm they want to do X even if the little boy doesn’t want to and then he can decide to join in nicely or leave. I think you have a really good chance here to focus on your daughters abilities to advocate for themselves with your support. If they need help you can go out and just say really calmly it sounds like Larla told you she doesn’t want to play that way, so you can stay here and play something or go home to do something different. Or whatever. But if they don’t like this kid they can just choose not to play and it’s good for them to know you will back them up. You don’t have to babysit this other kid- he can go go after care or something?[/quote]
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