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[quote=Anonymous]Before our first was born, I planned to start trying for our second 18mos after our first. But our first had so many medical and developmental issues, including feeding issues, failure to thrive, and a neurological event that caused her to stop breathing. Like you I too developed anxiety and PTSD.

I wasn’t ready at 18mos — in part because I wanted to get answers and wanted to know if our second child would also have similar challenges. Experts recommended genetic testing, MRI, etc — nothing yielded any answers. One genetics counselor prepared us for potentially bad news — but then later at the 2yo appointment saw our child was speaking in complex sentences and said “you have nothing to worry about.”

So then I finally felt comfortable enough to go forward. Our second child had no medical challenges other than FPIES (type of food allergy). We later found out with more detailed genetic testing that our first does have a genetic condition, but it was random and not hereditary. I honestly don’t know what I would have done if it had been hereditary and we had two kids with the condition. Our first child had a pretty mild case of a disease that is generally very severe.

I guess I would echo the previous poster who said to take care of your mental health first. And also when you’re ready, speak with a genetics counselor who may be able to give you answers of whether family genetics may cause any future children to be at risk. Then decide.

It’s okay for your plans to change. Only kids do fine. Take care of yourself first.[/quote]

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