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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]A neighbor with kids that align with mine moved next door. I have a lot going on and don’t often even host people in my home or play dates and she had asked me a few times on days that I just couldn’t because of kid extracurriculars. My fully vaccinated children have bad allergies and are often snotty/congested. My preschooler had that on day this week. So she calls me and asks if she can come over with a bottle of wine and the kids can play. I told her the little one had a cold but otherwise seemed ok. To be honest, I’m not a drop in my house unannounced person and my cleaner didn’t make it this week so already I’m feeling uncomfortable with the get together but straightened up, etc. Kids came over and we had a great time.

That evening my preschooler spiked a fever. I messaged her and let her know and said I hope your kids don’t get sick and I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it was more than allergies/mild cold. Within hours it had cleared. 
[b]The next day she starts messaging me really early in the AM saying she had to keep her kid home from school. I keep apologizing and you can tell she’s upset and cold with me. It accelerates and she lets me know her kid has a climbing fever and is positive for the flu and [i]the feeling was very much that she wants me to feel guilty[/i][/b]. I keep saying sorry I had no idea, I thought it was just a cold etc, I will get my child tested to make sure. At this point my child is completely fine, no fever, in school. It was clear from her messages she felt that the source was my child. So I book my kids and they come back negative for covid, rsv, flu A, flu B, strep.. I asked the pediatrician to test for everything because we have a lot of holiday plans. I tell her that it may be a coincidence because my kids came back negative for everything but part of me is so annoyed at the whole interaction.

I feel like with kids and sickness, it’s best not to point fingers. All our kids are in school and activities and sickness just happens. Where would you go from here with this mom? [/quote]

I’m going to push back and say that the problem might lie with you and your interpretation. You’ve said nothing here that is actual evidence that this mom was upset. It’s your interpretation that she “wants me to feel guilty.” What? How can you tell from some texts that “she’s cold and upset with me?” Did you want some smilie emojis? What exactly did she say? Not what you “felt,” but her actual words. I mean, if she said “I hope you know you made my kids sick,” then yeah, drop her. But if she was simply sharing the status of her kid’s illness, that’s on you adding your own drama.

Maybe the mom did communicate some stress, but by how much you described your anxiety over having someone come over when your house cleaner hadn’t been to your house that week, I’d say you’re bringing your own cup of drama to this situation. Just another perspective to consider. [/quote]

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