Reply to Sometimes I feel like I'm screwed, and my kid is screwed, no matter what

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My grandparents were messed up (alcoholics, PTSD from the war, violent towards their kids), my parents were messed up by all that, so I am of course messed up. My spouse has a similar history.

We seem like normal people and I guess we are, in the sense that many people have this kind of family history.

I feel doomed. I feel like my child is doomed. That my marriage is doomed. I feel like the best I can hope for is to not be TOO miserable and to not mess up my kid TOO much.

I try to focus on how much I love my kid and being a good parent. I think I even am a pretty good parent. But there is so much ambient dysfunction over which I have no control, or limited control.

Trying to stop this cycle again feels so hard.

I am very tired and just want to feel loved and accepted and for my child to feel loved and accepted. I can try to give that to them but who gives it to me?

I just feel broken.[/quote]

Hi, are you me?

Just take it day by day and you know what has really helpled me?  The occasional microdose which (allegedly) helps rewire the brain and for me, has helped me enjoy life more.  But yeah.  When I look for the source of the dysfunction a lot of it comes from the events of the past 100 years - the wars, migrations, etc.  All we can do is our best.   [/quote]

Thank you for this.[/quote]

Just microdosing to "rewire your brain" -- "allegedly" -- will not help you develop coping strategies, learn to deal with the negative self-talk inside your own head or learn to parent better than you were parented.

Of course taking any substance like mushrooms or smoking weed or whatever will help you "enjoy life more" because you're using a drug. You'll feel fine but you won't learn anything about how not to repeat past mistakes. Please see a therapist before you start using any substances on your own.

Before the DCUM "microdosing is great" campaigners come along to bash me, well, did I say don't do it, ever? No. I said, learn some strategies and get therapy first. Because unless you're going to microdose all the time, at some point you need to cope with other people's behaviors and your own, and just enjoying life more doesn't help you do that. Go on, bash. But OP, you really do need a professional to help you get out of this mindset, deal with your past, and create a strategy. Your child needs you to do this. [/quote]

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