Reply to Way to get past my resentment towards lazy DH, knowing he will not change?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Way to get past my resentment towards lazy DH, knowing he will not change?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH probably has ADHD and might be on the spectrum and might even be depressed but he is unwilling to get help for any of those things, despite my urging.

The problem is I truly need his help with our two young kids and household, and he continually drops the ball on things, and I am full of resentment.

I have done:
-individual and couples therapy
-antidepressants
-getting a less demanding job myself so I have more time to do household/kid stuff
-helping DH get a less demanding job, which he landed but which has not resulted in him doing any extra work
-getting one of our healthy parents to move close to us to help with kids
-outsourcing and automating as much as we possibly can. We have childcare 7 days a week.

Is there any way I can stop being an angry, resentful shrew every waking minute of the day? I have of course considered divorce but I am unsure it will actually help my stress level, because then I will be coparenting with an unreliable, disorganized, disengaged person. I worry the logistics will get more complicated and I will end up actually having more on my plate if we divorce.

I am just so tired and overwhelmed. I cannot do it all, and I cannot count on DH. I am so tired.[/quote]

I would seriously consider divorce, maybe in a few years when both kids are in school, but for now I think you drop the rope with him and prioritize. It sounds like you have two other adults helping with childcare so what are examples of things you are doing that you would like your husband to do? [/quote]

Op here. Recently I was flying across the country for a funeral in my family. I planned to take our oldest child with me. The morning we were supposed to depart, our child got into an accident and badly injured himself. I took him to the ER and the ER prescribed antibiotics. We were running super late and it was down to the wire whether we’d make it to our flight on time. I didn’t have time to go to the pharmacy so asked DH to see if we could get the antibiotic prescription filled when we arrived. DH agreed to handle it.

DH’s version of “handling it” was to send me the name of a target near my hotel. I thought this meant he had called them to verify that they had the medication and would take the prescription from another state. I was wrong. I get to the target and it doesn’t even have a pharmacy. It’s 8 PM and I was on my own with our kid and ended up having to call around while sitting on a bench outside target trying to find a pharmacy that was nearby and open and had the medication. It took 9 phone calls and three uber rides but I finally got it.
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics