Reply to Sometimes I feel like I'm screwed, and my kid is screwed, no matter what

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[quote=Anonymous]I kindly suggest you work with a counselor on this.  I completely understand why you feel the way you do.  I look at myself and wonder how I can have such a 'normal' life and family.  I suffered horrific abuse growing up, lots of substance abuse in the immediate family, mental health issues in the immediate family and multiple suicides within my nuclear family or origin.  How could I not be f@cked up and given the heritability of the roots of these issue, my kids are at much higher risk of of them.  In fact, two of my kids have ADHD/anxiety which is a resounding indication that they've lost the genetic lottery.

Oh, and I still have PTSD/flashbacks from my abusive childhood and I'm in my 50s.  Just had a conversation with my 18 yo DS this morning about it.  Last night, I woke in a fight/flight mode, convinced we had to MOVE because death/destruction was coming for us.  DS was still awake when I started yelling and came in to see what was going on.  All my kids know not to knock on my door when I'm asleep but to softly call my name from the hallway.  Even though I've been in a good place for over 20 years, the damage can still make it's way to the front.

I will say, though, my kids aren't f@cked up, even the two with ADHD/anxiety.  They take medication for both, I've done a lot of work to ensure my interactions/responses to them are appropriate and we have great structure at home.  They are very well aware of the family history and know the benefits of working with professionals.  Knowledge is power and being open about my own sh!t (in an appropriate way), I think, has made all the differnce.

In short, you are NOT screwed and neither are your kids.  You can end the pattern just like I did.  Hugs. [/quote]

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