Reply to Is my kid entitled? How to tell? (article uses a DC kid as an example of entitled:))

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It's not all about "things."  We have the money to buy things so we buy nice things.  Therefore, the kids' (teens) things are all nice:  Ugg, Northface, Starbucks, Tiffany, etc, nice vacations, nice cars, all Apple everything etc, etc.   If the kids are nice and compassionate and thankful, then having all nice things does not make them entitled.  I think it may mean just that their parents have plenty of money.  [/quote]

You can be polite and gracious and still be entitled.  I don't know your kids and perhaps they are the exception, but I think it is very difficult for a kid to maintain some kind of understanding about the way the majority of the world lives when they are given all of the things you have mentioned, and living in a family who obviously has great awareness of things like expensive brands and places importance on those kinds of things.  Kids learn a lot more from what parents do than what they say.  The values you model rub off on your kids.  I think a lot of parents call their kids compassionate and grateful because they behave nicely in public, write thank-you notes, and maybe do a community service project.  But I think it takes a lot more than that for a kid to truly understand gratitude, compassion, and humility.

I don't mean to sound snarky because frankly we struggle with these issues ourselves.  We want to give our kids rich experiences and lots of opportunities, and of course we ourselves want to enjoy the lifestyle we work so hard for.  But it is also very important to us that they grow up compassionate and able to understand the value of a dollar.  Our approach is to limit expensive material things like fancy cars, trendy brands, or high-end electronics, and when we do buy them our kids have to earn them.  But we do spend money on outsourcing a lot of house stuff so we can spend more time together as a family, and we sometimes splurge on experiences, like family vacations, art/music/sports lessons, etc.  I'm under no illusions that my kids really understand the advantages they have but we're actively workign on it.         [/quote]

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