Reply to Unhealthy dynamic with friend - constant negative texting

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[quote=Anonymous]Is your daughter still in therapy?  It sounds to me like she realizes she is struggling with the balance between being a supportive friend and setting boundaries for her own well being.  A good therapist can help her with setting those boundaries and reframing her role with the friend.  If mot, I think you should approach it from the same angle rather than being “the hammer.”  Not cutting off the relationship or down-talking the friend (which will make your daughter dig in) but empathizing with the difficult position she’s putting your daughter in, affirming that this is not really the role that a friend should play, and talking through with your daughter how to set appropriate boundaries with the friend.  Asking things like “do you think it affects your ability to focus during class when you are getting all these texts during the day?”  She should also definitely silence the alerts on texts from this friend.  If she could push the friend to use something like WhatsApp instead, she could hold off looking at it until she has headspace to deal with friend (or just turn off popul notifications for text generally—but then she might worry about missing pressing texts from other friends.  My daughter gets a lot of time-sensitive “do you know where the math homework is?” Type questions that she wouldn’t want to miss.)[/quote]

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