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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Remind yourself that they aren't your friends and feel sad for them that they never grew up from their college days.  That's really sad that a person can't mature beyond that point.

Then avoid avoid avoid because who could be bothered with this type of silliness later in life.  How boring.

Why does SIL need her friends around at family events, can't she handle herself on her own.  Mean girls are cowards alone, that's why they hang in groups, there is nothing to respect there. Also remind yourself that they usually target those they feel threatened by or are jealous of, you must have something they are envious of.

Learn to disengage from them.  Don't avoid family events but learn to engage with others.  Their tactics work because it gets under your skin.  What if you turned up and couldn't care less what they thought or did, like they are an annoying mosquito on your arm, wouldn't you simply swat at that and move on.  [/quote]

This, but to be honest I have enough stress in my life that I will avoid a family wedding where inevitability the seating arrangement puts me near my sister and mother. It stresses out my husband and kids too being around the cattiness. People I am close with are empathetic, but the cousin who needs to keep up appearances and have a big family showing just wants you to "grow up" and be "be the better person." I'm not going to ask to be a different table because that will just cause drama so it's easier to just decline. Drives my mother insane, because it sends a message I am fine with "all is not well here." It humiliates her and she just gangs up with my sister even more, but I can screen calls.

Otherwise at events where I have an easier escape I don't engage with the pettiness. I keep things surface level and quickly move on when the fangs come out. I don't defend. I don't react. I remain calm. I may have a little wine while there too :).[/quote]

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