Reply to Spouse will not respect my need for sleep

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[quote=Anonymous]I’m the type of person who needs 8 hours to properly function.  I go to bed at 9:30pm and wake up around 6:30am.  DW needs less sleep and is genuinely on a different sleep schedule than me.  She tends to go to bed at 11:30pm/12am and wakes up around 7:30am.

I get the kids ready for school and then head to work (I have to arrive by 8am).  She takes the children to school and then goes to work (she arrives at 9am).  This works our for us.

What doesn’t is that DW seems to not understand I need sleep.  I go lay down at 9:30 lights out and she’ll come in from her office at 10:30/11 and make as much noise as possible with zero regards for me.  This is literally the only thing we fight about but I’m so exhausted.  She’ll turn on all the lights to get ready for bed, leave bathroom door open and loudly shower/brush teeth.  What kills me the most is her watching videos on her phone without headphones knowing full well I will wake up and not be able to go back to sleep.  She also will occasionally wake me up to chat.  I get very grumpy and she responds by being upset that I’m upset she woke me up. I am a very sensitive sleeper and if I wake up, it’s usually hard for me to go back to sleep.  I think it’s so disrespectful she makes no attempt to be quiet in our room when I’m asleep.  When I wake up before her I stay quiet and let her rest till her awake time.

She doesn’t seem to grasp how exasperated I am and when I bring it up she calls me controlling and complains I should let her do what she wants in her room.

Yes, I’ve attempted sleeping headphones but they don’t always cancel out the noise she makes.  I try to sleep with eye mask but sometimes it’s uncomfortable.  I also sleep with a sound machine.

If I’m really exhausted I’ll sleep in guess bedroom so I can’t be woken up but it always upsets her as she wants to always cosleep.  I also prefer sleeping in the same room/bed as her but not if she’s going to wake me up nightly and keep me from getting a full nights rest.

When kids were young I was the one who got up usually because I stayed home.  However now that I work I need the rest to perform where I need to perform mentally.

I don’t know how to make her understand I’m getting to my breaking point. [/quote]

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