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[quote=Anonymous]How to people get like this? I was raised Catholic (guilt-ridden) by parents who were huge on personal responsibility and who also blamed my siblings and I fit everything all the time. For a long time I was too good at accepting responsibility for stuff and had to learn that not everything is my fault. I feel I do okay now, and have hit a happy medium.

But I encounter a lot of people who are amazing at just avoiding any kind of responsibility for things they definitely did, and it amazes me. It’s so foreign. Some examples:

1) Colleague who cheated on his longtime girlfriend with another person in their social circle, later married other woman. Treated ex truly terribly— lying, gaslighting, etc., and she had serious mental health issues. Everyone knows about this. But he appears to have no real guilt, even talks about it like “Yeah, it’s unfortunate how that worked out” like it just happened, instead of being something he did.

2) Friend who has multiple times really harmed people with gossip. She just compulsively looks for and spreads gossip about people we know, never even caring whether it’s true, and there has been some awful fallout, and has contributed to a number of big falling outs (fallings out?) in our group. She’ll kind of laugh like “I know, I’m so bad!” But never changes or feels bad. It’s amazing to me.

I’m really trying to understand. It actually seems blissful and I almost wish I was like that. Is it just a front? Do they actually have guilt they don’t show? Or are they just really good at not even thinking about it? I’m curious.[/quote]

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