Reply to Feeling sad that my in laws are so indifferent about my kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Let me preface this by saying that I KNOW DH and I grew up having very different relationships with our grandparents. In Dh's family, he saw his grandparents on holidays, bday cards in the mail, and maybe went bowling or fishing with them 3x per year even though they lived 15 mins away. In my family, my grandparents (I only have 1 set, my dad is an orphan) watched me full time until I went to Kindergarten. We talked on the phone several times per week. I would call and tell them all about school or what was going on in my life. I could sleep over there whenever I wanted and we would bake cookies, garden, play board games, learn family recipes, craft and sew. They would come to my sporting events, pop by for random dinners, etc. When I went to college, my grandma would mail homemade cookies by the DOZENS for me to share with everyone on my dorm floor. My grandpa would sneak a $20 into the box with a funny little hand drawn cartoon note saying "for the suds (after studying!!!)". They are still 88 and 90yo and I bring my kids to visit them at least every other weekend and call them 3x a week. Just so many wonderful memories full of love.

My in laws live 10 mins from us and are retired. I facilitate their relationship with our kids almost 100%. Always asking if I can bring the kids by for a visit, inviting them for sunday breakfast, scheduling holidays, seeing if I can help them with anything, saying I made extra leftovers of their favorite meal can I drop it off for them etc. They just don't seem to ever reciprocate or initiate. Now they told us they are going to sell their house and move to a town 3.5 hours away. I guess it just makes me sad because I want my kids' grandparents to want to spend time with them. I was hoping it would get better as my kids get older and really develop interests but now I have to accept that's just not going to happen. It makes me sad.

I do love my in laws dearly and know they love me too. DH and I have been together since we were 18 (20 years).[/quote]

OP you sound like an amazing mother with amazing parents. Even your ILs don’t sound too bad even though less involved.

I think my standards are way lower than yours but your children sound incredibly blessed to me. Good job being such a great mother and maintaining whatever connections are possible with both sides of family. [/quote]

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