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[quote=Anonymous]The Herbert W.C. Frothingsloshers are pleased to announce that their darling eldest daughter Petunia lost her virginity to the pool boy. But he was quite an accomplished fellow, having been expelled from Christ Church, Oxford, for molesting a female Don, whereupon he was recruited for the Receife All-Stars, who were pleased to have his talents as a center forward until he scored too many points with his teammates' significant others. A reception will be held in the HRH Alwaleed bin Talal Suite of one of the Georgetown dormitories for relatives and friends. A cash gratuity will be collected to underwrite potables and the newly beloveds' birth control expenses. If Alwaleed himself should appear, he will exercise his prima nocta rights with our beloved Petunia. We, Penelope and I, are beside ourselves.[/quote]
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