Reply to Loving Adopted/Stepchildren = Loving Biological children?

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Reply to "Loving Adopted/Stepchildren = Loving Biological children?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I am a stepmom and I have a bio child with my husband as well. There's no comparison. I enjoy my stepchild, I think as far as stepkids go, I got lucky- no defiance, no "You're not my mom" and no resentment (that I know of) and no jealousy of the child my husband and I had together. However, I will never love my stepchild the way I love my child. My MIL became a stepmother to my FIL's two sons when they married and she has told me that she doesn't ever expect me to love my stepchild the way I love my DC because I just won't and she understands that since she's been through it as well. Now, as adults, she does love her stepsons, but she still says she'll never love them like she loves her own.

I think it boils down to this: I want my stepchild to succeed and thrive and I don't want anything to happen to them, obviously. But if something ever did, I would move on from it. But if something happened to my own child? I would die. I could live without my stepchild (I could probably do it quite easily, as bad as that sounds to admit) but I could not live without my child. If I go awhile without seeing my stepchild, I don't miss them or yearn to see them, though I'm also not unhappy when they're around.

I can readily admit I love my stepchild less than my own child. That's just human nature. The stepchild is not part of me. But if I had adopted, I would have come to think of that child as my own. I'd have raised him/her; they would have only known me as their mom. I think I could have loved an adopted child as much as a bio child. [/quote]

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