Reply to Please weigh in about weird MIL and mom behavior

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[quote=Anonymous]I would bet it's because they like doing stuff on their own or with friends and don't know how to tell you this directly. So instead they kind of sneak in and out of town. They probably feel like they have to tell you they are/were there in case you find out, but they don't want to make the visit about seeing you. Is this selfish? I don't know, I'm not sure what kind of relationship you have with them otherwise. In some ways it's healthy because it means their lives don't revolve around either their adult children or their grandchildren, which I personally think is good for older women who otherwise get stuck in a permanent state of providing care for others.

I do think the distance is strange, but obviously they both have stuff to do in your town even when they are not seeing you. Also, people can be very uncreative! If they've been visiting the town for a while and know it well, it might be the first thing that pops into their head when they think where they might want to go for a spa day or visit with friends. As a PP said, it kind of depends on where they live and what's available to them. My parents live in a somewhat remote town where the nearest city of any size (and it's a small city) is 3.5 hours a way. The drive their pretty frequently and don't consider the distance that big of a deal. I mean, if they live on the Eastern seaboard and are doing this, that's weird because it's unlikely they need to travel that far to stay in a nice hotel or go to a fancy salon. But for people like my parents, your town could easily be the closest urban center to them.[/quote]

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