Reply to how to get DH on board with raising our child with religion?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP: I can understand your points if we had not previously agreed that he would attend mass with us every week. THAT is what I am upset about. My father, for example, was not Catholic but I would never have known the difference because he went to church with us every week and encouraged our religious beliefs just as much as my mom did. Same with an uncle of mine.

I would totally agree with everything you all are saying [b]IF DH DID NOT AGREE PREVIOUSLY [/b]to attend mass with us every week. That's just what is upsetting me. [/quote]

Some agreements that people make before marriage, in the abstract, feel entirely different after marriage, in reality.  See e.g. threads about agreements re: # of kids people will have, or whether they will/won't have kids.  These sorts of agreements/"contracts" are subject to change once the reality of married life is established.

I'm the PP with the Jewish DH and am raising our kids as Christians.  Pre-marriage, DH and I never talked about this issue because at that time, neither of us practiced any religion and we did not anticipate doing so in the future.  After ten years, the birth of our child, and the death of my father, I felt entirely different and indeed, *compelled* to raise our kids with religion.  DH balked and we talked it through over a long period of time.  Eventually we came to our current understanding based on the then-current reality of our family and respective feelings about religion.

Your DH is human, and has a different religious background than you do.  At a minimum, he identifies culturally with a non-Christian religion.  This makes it hard - in real life - for him to swallow the idea of going to Mass every week.  What about this is hard to understand?  Have you talked to him about how he feels about this now that you are married and contemplating kids?

IMO if he is agreeing that you raise the child/ren Catholic, that is a big concession on his part.[/quote]

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