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[quote=Anonymous]OMG for a second I thought-did I write this? Do we have the same family? My mother takes it a step further and has anger fits at me for not playing along for her sake. It is and I quite "so embarrassing" to her that I don't at least keep up appearances. I don't plan to be estranged, but I do less than you do at this point. She is toxic and my life is a living hell right now.

I completely relate to them never criticizing my sister, in fact the cater to her. Over the years plenty of people have chimed in about her nutty behavior from grandparents to aunts and uncles and teachers and they are ALL wrong and must play the game.

They may never accept it. The key is to stay calm and not get sucked in. When they push it change the subject or end the visit or call calmly. Throw it back politely, "It sounds like you wish things were different."

I too used to get angry, but you have to step back emotionally and see it for what it is. They are not going to change so you need to detach. I found the book recommended here Adult Children of Emotionally immature Parents helpful.[/quote]

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