Reply to Gifts received from estranged family member?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Gifts received from estranged family member?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Since you don’t mention the reasons behind the estrangement, I give the BIL credit for making an effort to maintain some type of positive relationship with the kids — who did not have any input in any decisions to end their relationships with their uncle.

Kids are more than little extensions of their parents.  You also don’t mention the ages of the kids, so I’ll use my imagination.  Why should a 9 year old, who loves his uncle, aunt, and cousins, lose what could be lifelong positive relationships because his Dad and his uncle have a vehement disagreement about the tax code?  I would let the kids have the gifts and send thank you notes — unless they, themselves, have issues with their uncle — unless the reasons for the estrangement are truly egregious.[/quote]

What kids need most is a healthy immediate family unit and friends. It's bonus points if they have healthy extended family relationships, but not as crucial to their well-being as a healthy immediate unit. It is not the place of the uncle or anyone to overstep parental boundaries and gifts are not love. Yes, kids are not extensions of parents, but they are part of a family unit that needs to be respected. I would not have to kids get entangled by playing into the manipulations and sending than yous. I would let them know the relationship is not healthy and we are having space from uncle Narc for a while.[/quote]

But what if it’s the father who is “unhealthy”?   I’m not sure why you created “uncle Narc” — but all we know is that the two brothers are estranged.  Maybe you have the right take on this. Or maybe Dad is batshit crazy, and the uncle is trying to do what he can to be a positive presence in the kids’  lives. From the information presented, we — or at least I — really don’t know. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics