Reply to I’ve cut off my sister through pure jealousy and I suck

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[quote=Anonymous]Backstory: I discovered at 31 that my (deceased) mother had had a child at 16. My half-sister contacted us at the point, because she’d discovered she had leukemia and was hoping to find a bone-marrow match.

She turned out to be a lovely person, very rich, very kind, very skinny and elegant and beautiful. By comparison, I’m dumpy, work a mid-paying job, am a lifelong renter, and am rather introverted and shy. We live utterly different lives. Honestly I feel like crap whenever I’m around my half-sister, despite how nice she is.

She tried really hard to get to know me, inviting me and my son on excursions, dinners, etc. But every time I’d leave with a knot of jealousy in my mind. I’ve never invited her over because I’m embarrassed of our dingy tiny apartment, as compared to her beautiful AUP home.

Part of the problem is that our (shared) mother died when I was six. I grew up imagining that my mother would always be proud of me, no matter how mediocre my life. And now I feel like I’ve met the sister my mother really *would* be proud of, the sucessful beautiful happy one, and it’s just so hard to be around her. I haven’t reached out in 8 months now.

I’m not sure if I’m looking for advice or just venting some festering guilt. Please feel free to tell me I’m a bad person, or if there’s any hope for mending bridges.
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