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[quote=Anonymous]Okay, let me start by saying that this is a big deal with us. We have a 17 YO DD who is going off to college next year, we will be paying for the majority of it (not 100%, but we have the money and we think that it is worth it, this isn't a debate over whether or not we should! Don't make it one). Now, she is not a great student, think a GPA of around a 3.0, so we knew Ivys were WAY out of the question, and in fact, she had found a university that she really likes (bigger, 'anonymous-feeling', urban school where one of her friends goes), she had gotten in (it wasn't a stretch school, lets just say), and we had pretty much said that she would go there. She was set on this. It is a school with a reputation of being a bit mediocre, and not an amazing school (not like awful, just the typical big non-state name public university), but on the good side we could afford it reasonably, and she liked it.

Now, your probably asking what the issue is. The thing is that just yesterday we got a acceptance letter to college B. This is a better known private university, small, more suburban, and very much more personal. It was one of those places that we as the parents put on the list as a stretch school and really didn't expect her to get into (plus she wasn't all that excited about it anyway). Normally, it would be overbudget, but here is where the real crux of the issue lies: They gave my daughter a scholarship (supposedly for academics-I think probably because of the recommendation letter she got from a teacher that just glows about her) that makes it pretty on-par with the first university. Both me and DH agree that this is the better choice, and it is by-far the choice with the better reputation and info. DD? Not so much. She says its too small, plus she wants to go to university with her friends (apparently the larger university has a lot of interest at her highschool), and that it is her choice. Literally, me and DH don't like the big-city university that much (not that we are against the city-we've lived in DC for 20+ years, him for longer, and I've lived in cities for almost all my life, grew up in a small town and don't like the idea of moving back into one any time soon), and honestly I'm wondering whether you'll think it is appropriate for us to say that we won't pay nearly as much to send her to the bigger school which we don't see as a good way to continue her education, then we will to send her to the smaller, more tightknit school? The way I see it is that this is a big investment that we are putting down, and its not so she can go to hang out with her friends. Its our money, and if we think that the way she chooses to spend it (and a good amount of money too) is a waste, I don't think we should support it. Is this unreasonable (according to her it totally is, and the only reason we want her to go to the smaller college is because its closer to home-this is far from the only reason)[/quote]

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