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[quote=Anonymous]One of the reasons that I like Ellyn Satter so much is that if you truly practice it, it reduces the stress of dinner time by completely removing the awful meal-time tug of war between parents and kids.  You put the food on the table.  Your daughter can choose to eat it or not.

People often thinks this means that you put liver and onions on the table and let your child starve otherwise.  That is NOT what this is about.

It's about reducing stress, and your daughter is clearly stressed a mealtimes.  I know you mean well, but the fact that you've tried to force feed her shows how out of control this situation is.  Of COURSE she wants to assert her will and have some control.

You really need to hit the reset button on meals, and just LAY OFF her completely.  Tell her the rules ahead of time.  "What's on the table is what is for dinner.  You get to choose if you want to eat or not.  It's totally up to you.  I won't pressure you to eat anything."

And then stick to it.  If you cave every other night, it's ADDING to her stress. She knows if she cries she'll get the foods she likes.  But not always, so she cries harder.  She's stressed and confused and it's made worse by being hungry.

If she'll always eat apple, then just include that in the meal every night as something you all share as the family.  Then you can always feel confident that there is something on the table you know she likes.

But I just want to reiterate that it's less about WHAT is on the table, and more about how she FEELS at the table.  [/quote]

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