Reply to My sister is great at her job and a mess at home

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How is this possible, I wonder? She is so disorganized, a poor planner. Their house is always a mess, constantly late to everything or miss things, they never go on a proper vacation, and her kids stay home half the summer and watch TV, because she and her DH can’t get it together to plan ahead of time and book travel or summer camps. She vents to me about how much she hates it but never does anything about it. The latest was that her son was upset they forgot to attend a classmate’s bday party. I offer to help her create an online calendar and book travel and camp but she always says “Oh no, I can do it”… and then never does it! I’m frustrated on behalf of her kids! She’s a lot smarter than me, and I’m sure is very organized at work to have gotten to her current level. Why do all of those skills fall away at home??

P.S. I know her DH is 50% responsible, but she’s the one I’m related to and talk to[/quote]

Agree that it sounds like ADHD. I was very much the same way--it's hard to know that you're smart and great at some things and total chaos at others. Everything feels stressful all the time-- and she's probably not seeking help because she feels like she *should* be able to handle things, even though she's obviously not. All of her organization skills and planning go into work, and there's just nothing left over--that's how ADHD works for a lot of professionally successful people, and certainly how it worked for me.

It sounds like she could benefit from some outsourcing, some executive function therapy, and/or ADHD medication. [/quote]

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