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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think one secret is to recognize that many people already have established friend groups and/or are exhausted. While they might not reach out for new relationships, some might be open to developing friendships, particularly if you are willing to repeatedly take the initiative.  So, who are you viewing as “your people”?  What proximity interests might you have in common?  Are you willing to be the one to nudge things along — and back off appropriately, also repeatedly, so that your desire for friendships doesn’t become another demand on someone’s hectic schedule?  Is there something you would be interested in joining as a first step? A reading group, an exercise class, a volunteer organization, a workshop? Those are all things that can lead to next steps and beyond— as long as you’re willing to make the effort, recognizing that others might not be as eager for this as you are.   [/quote]

But how do people already have established friend groups? That's what mystifies me. I have not had this since college 20 years out.[/quote]

People start with neighbors, co-workers, fellow members of religious groups, alumni activities and community organizations.  The nice thing about college is that almost everyone is new and eager to make friends.  I tend to try new things — going to the gym, swimming, joining a book group, whatever. It starts with chatting during the activities, then texting, going for coffee afterwards — then doing things after the activities becomes part of the routine. Then we’ll do something a step beyond that. Again, accept the fact that you will have to make the effort, and be patient, especially since with the pandemic, even people with time and interest might not want to hang out in a coffee shop.

In my case, I have friends and small friendships from multiple periods of my life that we’ve made the effort to maintain. [/quote]

Sorry: small friendship GROUPS[/quote]

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