Reply to How do I gently pull away from a friend who keeps hurting me?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Answers:

I’m the one close to my friend’s children.  My own child is in college.

I would like to be considered second or third in her life - I know I’m not family but I have done a lot for her and for her children (babysat for free for four years, took off work when she couldn’t to take older child to practice once a week or he couldn’t play ball on weekend, drive 1.5 hours to see them each way to see them since they moved last year).

I’d like to be more important to her now that I’m not babysitting or of use to her.  I know she cares about me but I just seem a priority anymore.  And it hurts. [/quote]

These are generalities. That's a good start, but it doesn't help for the details of planning.

What does "second or third in her life" mean? Talking 2-3 times a week? Texting good morning daily, but not talking on the phone? Getting together a couple of weekends a month? How much interaction, and on what media, would be a good relationship for you?

What does "more important" look like? Her asking you how your day is going at least as often as you ask about her? Her volunteering to help you in person with things, or is the phone enough?[/quote]

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