Reply to Was this abuse? I need to process what happened to me.

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Reply to "Was this abuse? I need to process what happened to me."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Will try to keep it short.
Met my ex, we got married and for some time I was outearning him, which irked me and we had a system where he would always either pay for both of us (if he wanted to) or each of us paid half. Then there was a time where we lived on what I was earning, I was paying for the household expenses and he had a kind of limit for his personal stuff, sometimes he would ask for something expensive and I was not happy but I would not object.
Then the tables have turned and we lived on his salary, I had a baby, and as I was dependent on him he started giving me a “budget” to pay for food, baby stuff, my personal expenses. Our relationship went downhill in other aspects, he would try to make me leave with the kid and “go live elsewhere”, he would call me names too. There was no physical violence, but it was bad. 
He then left, but helped us pay the rent (child and I stayed). I went through a series of small gigs to buy us food, then got a full time job, filed for divorce and we are now divorcing. He was nasty about money the whole time through the divorce proceedings, now we have agreed on the amount and he is suddenly all chummy and nice. 
I am just trying to process what our relationship was like. He claims I was controlling about the money when I was the breadwinner, and this justifies him being the same to me. I sometimes think I lived through emotional abuse, but sometimes I think that our relationship just went downhill, he became an ass and we parted ways.
So which is it? I want to think he is a decent guy but I am really not sure that trying to kick someone out of the house (not physically, but being very persistent about it), name calling, and later lowballing the child support offer like crazy qualifies someone as a decent guy... whether I “deserved” it or not. [/quote]

I don’t see any outright abuse. I do see an inability to communicate and cooperate about money. You did set the tone early on by being controlling.[/quote]

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