Reply to Beating the dead horse again (sexless marriage)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ask him to get a vasectomy since you have agreed not to have another child and the pill kills your libido and works on a plan to improve your fitness together. He raised the issue not you, but you can take the lead. Suggesting you open your marriage was pretty dumb but it’s water under the bridge. In terms of pity sex, why not have it and make it so worth his time and effort that he comes back for more. [/quote]

I asked to open the marriage because I myself feel more mad at him than anything else in terms of sex. I feel that my crushes may grow into something. I have not thought this part through at all. He’s fine being just parents and buddies, and we are a good team in that regard. You’d never know we have no sex. I also had a night sex drive before kids but I was naive and relatively inexperienced and thought sex does not matter.

I tried to be accommodating and understanding but I am not sure whether, at this point, I want sex with him. It’s been 3 years, ffs.

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*higher[/quote]

He sounds like he has real issues. I would tell him if he doesn’t want to divorce, he needs to start therapy with you immediately. Give him 3-6 months to get things going again, at that point if you have to open the marriage then hopefully he’ll at least accept it. I think opening now though will create more issues than it solves. You also sound as if you’re hungering for real intimacy, unclear whether you will be able to get that from an affair. Good luck… it’s definitely possible to light a flame again, but you need a willing partner.[/quote]

By issues, I mean that he sounds as if he doesn’t love himself. Comments about his body, about opening the marriage… he almost sounds disgusted by sex and desire. I am not saying every guy needs to be open minded but his reaction is extreme. Hopefully he’ll figure out how to work through it. Could he be depressed?[/quote]

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